lorina is not interesting*

Here at 29, And Also Gone

9/8/2026

after Big Disgrace

The kids are making a lot of art about clowns.
A lot of it is bad.
Some of it commentary on what it feels like to constantly perform at end of the world
and the bravery to be stranger than the average person finds acceptable.
How strange it feels to paint on a smile everyday.
And sometimes it’s just because they find clowns sexy
and/or have a thing for Bill Skarsgård.

I don’t really like taking selfies but I love taking self portraits.
I like dressing up
and painting my face
and posing.
I like carefully crafting a playlist
and not trying really really hard to make sure my face is in focus.

Sometimes I want people to look at me and think
“She’s doing a lot right now.

She’s trying really really hard.”

I have spent a lot of years being nonchalantly good at a lot of things
that broke my back and kept me up at night.
I am rarely ever proud of myself.
I simply am. I simply do.

I used to be bursting with half baked ideas and bits of brilliance or madness or joy.
Maybe they’re still in there
and trials of existence have simply tempered the joy of creation.
I would talk to my therapist about this but I broke up with her after she recommended I upload my medical information into ChatGPT.

I’m jealous of the kids making shitty art about clowns so I made my own shitty clown art and I loved making it.

Before my therapist and I broke up, she asked me why I’m so mean to myself.

When I was 20, a group of peers I was trying to impress were complaining about how people who sang in public were obnoxious.

And here I am at 29
and my friends don’t know I love to sing.

Here I am at 29.
From a young age, I was convinced that I would die at a young age.
My nephew called me old the other day.
A few years ago I started writing a story about a girl who saw the moment a person died if she looked at them for too long.
Maybe I’ll finish it this year.

In the meantime
I think I’ll keep painting my face
and dying my hair strange colors even though my dad (bald) always has something to say about it.
I think I’ll keep taking self portraits.
I think I’ll reread all the stories I wrote before this one and love them
not because they are good but because they are.
I think I’ll find another therapist.
I think that the people who love you will listen to you sing.
I think the ones who really love you will sing along.

I think I’ll be okay.
I think I’m done with this poem for now.
I think I’m already gone.

- (photos & words by) Lorina

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Collective Black Thoughts

1/13/2024

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I.

I sing like Beyoncé but much, much worse
I share a mouth with the drunk professor
mind sharp as ever but wagging a slow tongue
I know exactly what I want to say
but you don't want to hear it

I am mixed up and love a good bargain
as much as my foremothers but draw the line
at an $8 bottle of Burnett's
Are you telling me they still haven't shipped
your forty acres? The mule got lost in the mail?
What is the refund policy? You seem
surprisingly calm about this.

II.

Listen to my burnt sugar voice: I want a nap
but I don't think I've earned one yet
I want a fight but I just started to get used to
the way my teeth bend now
I want justice but I don't know what it looks like
What if I pass her on the road the same way I did
Jesus Christ?

I've never been good at U-turns.

III.

I met God and she's sick and tired of my shit
I would quit while I'm not too far behind but
they call the lotto numbers tomorrow night and
I'm asking around to see if I could borrow some luck
or a five-dollar.

IV.

Every time I think I'm on the way up
my cheek meets the cold floor
Every time my cheek meets the cold floor
I'm reminded of a nap I had once so good
it was hard to believe
that shit only lasted 12 minutes.

V.

I start cracking and have to bring it down a whole octave just to make it through the first verse
I like to think I can carry a tune but this song is a little too heavy and a little high for my range.

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Small Business Gift Guide: Plant Baddies Edition

11/28/2022

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Gift Ideas for the plant lovers and green thumbs in your life (from a variety of price points)!

Plant Care Journal | $12

A journal for tracking plant care tactics and characteristics of each little botanical child.
From CarlyCreationsStudio on Etsy.

Vintage Inspired Glass Water Mister | $18

These misters offer a cute vintage look for a gardening/plant care essential.
From GardenOutsideTheBox on Etsy.

Nostalgic Botanical Art Prints | $20-30

Art by Chamoru artist Art By Ciara! These beautiful pieces are perfect for lovers of plants and food.

Botanica Tarot Deck | $40

An absolutely stunning tarot deck featuring art from independent artist Kevin Jay Stanton.

Matte Black Iron Watering Can | $65

Beautifully minimalistic iron watering can with a matte black finish.
From TOAST.

REMEMBER: Shop small whenever you can! -L

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I Know A Place: Korean BBQ in Orlando's Mills 50 District

9/20/2021

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Here’s an odd confession: my first time trying Korean food was at a nice Korean BBQ place with my friend Katherine. In Kochi, India. I know what you’re thinking: “Who? What? Why? How? The answers: My friend Katherine, whom I studied abroad with, and I were overwhelmed by the wealth of food options that were available to us and thought, why wait until we can visit Korea to enjoy Korean cuisine?

That was back in 2017 and though I initially thought it to be strange, I have now come to think of this as just a really cool fact and testament to the ways in which food and food trends travel and expand around the globe. So, when visiting family in Orlando this weekend, I decided to spend some time with my older sister and check out one of the many restaurants on our never-ending list of local food spots. Together, we decided on Shin Jung Korean Restaurant.

It’s 2:30 PM on a Saturday and we are here to support small businesses!

For those of you familiar with neighborhoods in Central Florida, Shin Jung is located on the outskirts of the Mills 50 District, an area known for a wealth of small retailers and restaurants, as well as a lot of AAPI-owned businesses. It’s one of my favorite spots in the city to shop local, spend the day with friends, and enjoy some of the absolutely phenomenal murals done by Orlando artists.

The Mills 50 District tends to be a pretty popular spot, especially on weekends, so I definitely recommend planning accordingly. My sister, Kris, and I decided to go for lunch around 2:30 PM in an attempt to beat the lunch and dinner rush and I think our planning was spot on. There were a decent number of parties in the main dining area, but plenty of outdoor seating for those who weren’t interested in using the grill for the full BBQ experience. Shin Jung boasts a dining room that appears very modern, with lots of white, those boujee flower and plant walls, and minimalistic decoration.They recently went through an extensive re-model and just started offering dine-in options again. Don’t let the fresh atmosphere fool you, this restaurant is one of the original Korean restaurants in the city and has been serving a full menu of traditional food longer than I have been breathing (they first opened their doors in 1993).

Ok, consider the scene set; I have appeased the lifestyle blogging deities with my little background story and introduction. Let’s get into the menu. Overall, Shin Jung hosts a pretty extensive menu, including soups, rice dishes, a very nice assortment of soju, and (of course) barbecue. While 2:30 PM on a Saturday is a perfectly acceptable time to be under 30 and day drunk, Kris and I decided to skip the soju menu and try some less “adult” beverages. She went for the classic rice nectar while I sipped on the ginger cinnamon punch. While the rice nectar was good, it definitely took a little getting used to. We both gave the ginger cinnamon punch a refreshingly spicy 5-stars.

Ginger Cinnamon Punch (left) and Rice Nectar (right).

A lot of the menu items caught our eyes, especially since there were vegan and vegetarian options available as well. Though neither of us are vegetarians, I’m allergic to shellfish and neither of us really eat red meat. Still, there was so much for us to choose from (including vegetarian/vegan kimchi options, which I was excited about)! We decided to go pretty simple and ordered the spicy chicken and assorted vegetables for the grill. All of the grill items come with your usual array of side dishes and we were able to sample both cabbage and daikon kimchi, pickled red onions (personally, I can eat spoonfuls of this stuff), potatoes, white rice, a few other pickled veggies, and side salads.

Our spread, in all its glory.

There’s something about the way that I present myself in restaurants that just screams out to staff that I need help at all times. I have yet to figure out exactly what part of my demeanor betrays me (my bet is on the perpetual social awkwardness), so I usually just roll with it. In this case, “rolling with it” meant accepting the assistance of our lovely server, who insisted on helping us place everything on the grill and consistently checking to make sure that we didn’t burn our spicy chicken to a crisp. In the end, Kris and I took turns successfully manning the grill and did a pretty good job of it. The result was one of the best meals I’ve had in a very long time. The assortment of vegetables was great, and really complemented the chicken, which was advertised as “spicy chicken” but was more like a really nicely spiced chicken. If you’re looking for heat, definitely make sure to be liberal with sauces.

Preparing this food is a true test of patience (and worth every second).

A few specifics before I get carried away:

TASTE: I absolutely loved the flavors of the food that we got. I think in this setting, it’s so important that foods complement each other and I can tell that this restaurant does indeed have over twenty years of experience in creating masterpieces, cleverly disguised as menu items. My favorite parts were definitely the grilled chicken, which I will be thinking about for a few months, and the ginger cinnamon tea. The tea really sealed the whole meal for me and I regret not asking for a glass to take home with me.
SERVICE: Our host was so kind and attentive and the rest of the staff were exceptionally helpful during our meal! The dining room was clean/well attended and, though small, exceptionally well ventilated!
VALUE: Drinks, the two selections for the grill, sides, and the tip ran just under $50. I would definitely say that the quality and quantity of food definitely makes this price worth it. Those wanting to get alcoholic drinks can look to spend about another $10-15 per person. When it comes to our meal for two, it was a great meal for a great price! For larger groups of 5+ people, I would definitely recommend looking into the combo options which include multiple barbeque options to share.

Here's the bottom line: Shin Jung Korean BBQ is an incredible local restaurant that has been serving up authentic and reimagined Korean fare for almost three decades. It’s a true Central Florida gem; They know what they’re doing, I wish them the best in doing it, and I’ll be back... 👀

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Yes, I took a photo in front of the cute flower wall! Did you expect me to not take a photo in front of the cute flower wall?

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Book Review: A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J. Maas

3/16/2021

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Gwyn whispered, "I am the rock against which the surf crashes.” Nesta straightened at the words, as if they were a prayer and a summons. Gwyn lifted the blade. “Nothing can break me.”

A Court of Silver Flames (A Court of Thorns and Roses, #4)

A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J. Maas
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This review contains HEAVY SPOILERS and also addresses mental health and PTSD.

If you are here for smut, you're gonna have an okay time.
If you are here to see an author discuss the intricacies of PTSD that are often left out in novels with heavy themes of war and violence, you're gonna have the worst day ever.

Great Things:
1. Nesta : Nesta is an AMAZING character. She is way more complex and relatable than Feyre. So I was beyond upset that SJM took this amazing character and made her out to be the devil, the evil queen, the one to hate. At the start of this book, I had hope that the author was going to dig into the idea of women's mental health and how it is often not taken seriously. When I say I was so excited that Nesta was getting her own book, I genuinely was excited because it was obvious that homegirl was struggling throughout the last two books and that there was a complex and harrowing tale to be told with her at the center. Anyways-- #NestaDeserved Better

2. Thanks for the smut.

3. I know it's corny, but I love a female friendship aspect in books like this. I actually enjoyed seeing three girls have a spa night in the middle of this book. It was refreshing to see healthy bonds between women. Alexa, play "Girl Power" by the Cheetah Girls

Terrible Things
1. I'm not done with my Nesta rant. It was so painful, disheartening, frustrating to watch literally every character, other than Gwen or Emerie, hound on Nesta and tell her how terrible she was for HAVING STEADILY DETERIORATING MENTAL HEALTH. FOR HAVING PTSD. You're telling me these schlong slanging, pointy-eared fairy a-holes are mad at her for not being immune to the traumatizing nature of war? I'm not even exaggerating when I say that every time Nesta walked into a room, at least one person in the Night Courts little found-family of jerks had to tell her what an utter waste of space she was. They claimed to care about Nesta (except Rhys who was like "nah, i hate Nesta cuz she's an inconvenience to me and calls me out on my bullsh*t) and then they blame her for being depressed and anxious and traumatized.

This is my biggest disappointment of this entire book: that we are, right now as a society and in our various communities, starting to talk about mental health and address its intricacies and yet SJM writes this book. This book about a young woman who has gone through so much trauma and yet the only people who are able to talk to her like she is a human and explain to her (truly push her towards acceptance) are other women who have been broken and scarred as well. Even Ryhsand (who we all know invented feminism)-- you know what. He gets his own section.

2. Rhysand is the actual worst. I hate that SJM tries to pass him off as a strong, cunning, beautiful, passionate man because he is emotionally manipulative and abusive not only to Feyre but to everyone in his life who prevents him from doing what he wants at all times. He threatens to kill Nesta for telling Feyre the truth about her own body. He keeps the "you have the power to literally make godly objects" thing from her. He hates that Nesta makes him look bad more than he hates that she is struggling. I hate him with a passion because I've had Rhysands in my life and I know that no matter what, people will continue to see him as a good guy even though every action he makes is a selfish one. The fact that Nesta had to give up her power to save him because he and her sister have fairy dust for brains enrages me.

3. I hate the "male" "female" thing. It makes my skin crawl.

4. Nesta literally changing her physical anatomy so she can push out Cassian's winged babies one day made me want to vomit.

5.The ending battle with homegirl the crone queen was the most anti-climactic thing. I forgot about her so many times while reading this book. I was like "oh, hey" when she popped up. The battle lasted two minutes. Snore.

Anyway. I'm giving it 3 stars because Sarah J. Maas owns my a** and deep down, I love a good trainwreck. (also, smut)

View all my reviews

Bonus: My thoughts on the fact that Mor's family is homophobic af:

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